Sunday, May 13, 2012

Not sleeping makes me cry

Edited as when I first wrote this it was poorly spelt a bit whiny.

Firstly a word. I named my blog: the things I think. Because it is exactly that. The things I think. It's not called I'm right you're wrong.
Some people find my work offensive. I can understand that. I don't hold traditional views on a lot of things. I'm not trying to preach to anyone with the things I say just trying to share the insight of a girl with mental health issues. If you have been at any time in the past or are at any time in the future I apologise. I will not take back what I said unless you can give me a compelling arguement to do so. It's not my intention to offend. If I wanted to do that I would call you all cunts and be constantly looking for opportunities to be on balconies above you so I could spit on you.

I'm not a crier in general. It's a bit rubbish when your eyes leak everywhere and ruins the make-up that took five minutes to apply and will inevitably rub off anyway.
When I am awake like I am now, counting down the hours till I have I get up I feel nothing but frustrated. I just want to sleep. I don't care about the things my mind throws at me. I don't know why my body becomes unable to regulate its own temperature. Too cold then too hot and if i get out of bed to walk on the cold floor the bottoms will literally feel on fire when I get back in bed.

Sometimes I will get as little as 3 hours sleep. I sit at work like a zombie just hoping for the day to end as quick as possible. I can't remember a darn thing. I'm just a bit of a useless mess.

I have so many ideas when I am trying to get to sleep. I tend to not remember them come the morning. I am like a stoner without the fun of the giggles or the snack time of the munchies. Maybe I should start writing them down, but I think that would keep me awake longer and mayber reveal the stream of consciousness of a mad-woman.

In a purely selfish way I am glad there are others out there in the same position as me. Wondering the house at 2am angry that they need to be up in 4 hours. If that's you give me a text or a tweet we can sob at each other.

ZZZ is onomatopoeia for snoring but more likely an implication of sleep

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