Thursday, December 29, 2011

An open letter to my neighbour

Neighbour I know we have before exchanged notes and I feel we must again.
Last time the note from you suggested I keep my noise down in the mornings. My advice of you getting a job so you will be up at the same time as me seems to have been ignored.

This time I would like to draw attention to your constant rutting with your on again off again boyfriend who I can only guess is called jamal.

I understand that your rutting is the natural expression of love between a man and a woman. But really does it have to be at all hours of the day and night?
If the answer is yes I have some ideas for you.
1. Move the bed away from the wall.
2. Get a new bed with non squeaky springs. Maybe memory foam.
3. Stop faking it. You get nothing out of it in the long run. Try positive reinforcement.

In conclusion neighbour: shut the fuck up

Thursday, December 8, 2011

I got told to blog

I say a lot of things every day that I think need to be noted in history. Some may offend you and I apologise but offence isn't really a big deal to me. Some may make you laugh, but I tend to laugh at my jokes the most. And some may make you cry or even cringe.

About me and the future of my blogs:

I am 28 (currently), a single mum of an 8 year old, I work full time 40 miles away from my house (helpful). I do a lot of stupid things and have a lot of bad ideas but they usually pan out in the end. Oh and just to annoy my corporate working environment I tend to get a new tattoo about once every 6 months. I am now confined to long sleeve and trousers (or dark tights) whilst in the office.

Enjoy my life!