Friday, May 30, 2014

A reply to 10 Struggles Of Being Not Fat, But Not Skinny Either.

I challenged a business lady to rewrite a post called 10 Struggles Of Being Not Fat, But Not Skinny Either. There were 7 Awesome Points available. Well, she flipped it and challenged me to do it.

After reading the post it seemed to me that me that Samantha Matt, the author, was just a bit whiny. She is one of those new breed of journalists that writes lists of things eg. 17 things to make you happy, 13 things to stop feeling ashamed of, 60,000 ways to feel more womanly, 9 lists of lists with numbers.

Let's digest her 10 struggles.

1. Analyzing the “You look so thin!” comment on a picture.
If you need to analyse (see how I spelt it there with a S not a Z, silly murica) a comment on a picture you may have some deep-seated issues that require medical assistance. No seriously. A picture is just a moment in time. It is just what you happened to look like in that very second. The variables of light, angles, distance and photography skills created a constant memory. That is not how you look. If someone comments that you look thin say thanks, if you are thankful. If you are not then thankful don't comment.

2. Eating with people you’re not close with.
This isn't a struggle. So you are eating with work chaps or acquaintances, eat what you like. To be constantly fretting about what others are eating or what they may think of your choices of food is no way to live your life. Just don't spill it down your front as everyone will think you're an idiot and social outcast. They will cut you out of conversations until you choose to leave early so they can all have fun in their clean clothes. Silly spiller.

3. Choosing an outfit to wear out on a weekend night.
I am going to list my problems with this particular struggle.
i. Looking good doesn't mean tight fitting clothes
ii. Every person: male, woman, fat, thin and all things in-between, will struggle with an outfit for going out-out
iii. Questioning an outfit doesn't mean you feel, you look, or are, fat. It means wearing a wedding dress on a first date is probably a bad idea.
iv. This. All of this. God it's awful "The only thing that can change this is when a guy says “I would fuck you in that. ” A guy wouldn’t openly say that he would fuck a fat girl. So it must mean you don’t look fat. Right?" Why, why, why Samantha?? Why do you hate women so much? Why is fat so offensive to you? Why do you care that a man wants to fuck you? That's not a compliment.

4. Buying jeans.
The problem with buying jeans is in no way telling people what size you are. It is about the bleakness of a day spent in various changing rooms trying to keep that bloody curtain that doesn't quite fit closed. Looking in all them mirrors of various angles and noticing your hair looks a bit shit from 45 degrees to the left. It's about them lights that make you notice you are not all that great at applying foundation. It's about going in shops, which I hate. Size is really irrelevant these days. I'll prove it. In Miss Selfridge I am size 8, in H&M I am size 14. Wear what fits you and feels good, not what has the correct number on a label.

5. Wondering what guys refer to you as.
I will put this simply - Who gives a fuck? Seriously.

6. Taking your cover up off at the beach.
I don't think this is the worse thing ever. There are worse things. What about famine, war, or noticing you are out of loo roll after a poo.
You are at the beach. Everyone is in swim wear. No one is looking at you as they are thinking about their own insecurities or better still having a lovely time.

7. Deciding whether or not to eat free food at work.
There is really no reason to live your life in fear of whether or not to have cake at work. The simple answer to this is: if there is free cake, biscuits or sweets on offer, have some. Don't sit at the designated cake desk and eat it all. But just have some. If you really are concerned why not suggest a healthy buffet day. Everyone likes a healthy buffet. Or a better suggestion is, get on with your work and stop wasting your time fretting over cookies.

8. Losing and gaining weight.
If you are worried about putting on 2 pounds have a poo. If you are worried about losing weight have some of that cake you were offered at work.

9. Trying to figure out what guy(s) are actually interested in you at the bar.
I am going to put this out there. Maybe, just maybe people are talking to you just because some people are just nice. It's a shock I know, but some people are. Maybe they don't want to sleep with you are your mates. Maybe they just fancied a chat. But, if they do want to sleep with you are your mates that is fine too. I maintain my view on this, you really shouldn't sleep with people you have just met at a bar. If you live by that rule you'll probably just have a nice chat instead of worrying if they will see your cellulite later that evening.

10. Explaining to people that you’re staying in because you… just wanna lose 3 pounds.
You are staying in because you want to lose weight? Now that is just ridiculous. Why not just exercise some self control. You really don't need to drink non-stop red bull vodkas and eat late night pizza. If you really don't think you are adult enough to control yourself then be the designated driver. Then you have no choice.

So there it is. Not really a rewrite, but a reply. Sometimes these list things are really not good for the soul.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014


I have seen a lot of awful advice about juice/juicing lately.
Whilst juicing is a quick and easy way to get one or two of your 5-a-day it should not be relied on our used to "detox" or diet.
Here are some quick facts:
  • Juice can be used as part of a healthy lifestyle, it is not however a miracle cure. 
  • Although fruit/vegetable juice counts toward your recommended daily dose, it contain less fibre and does not fill you up like whole fruit/vegetables.
  • Fruit juice is high in fructose (sugar) - simple carbohydrates that provide extra calories and quickly raise your blood sugar levels.
  • 240ml of natural, no-added-sugar fruit juice can contain up to 6 teaspoons of sugar
  • Fruit juices especially those high in citric acid cause acid erosion that weakens tooth enamel.
  • Jesse Dallas who promotes responsible juicing recommends "Juicing responsibly means you might only drink half a pint of vegetable juice daily"
  • On a juice-only diet, you may not get enough protein to make you full, this means you lose muscle. Brandon Kolar, a personal trainer and nutritionist says " “When you lose muscle mass you’re actually dropping your metabolic rate, which makes your body work less efficiently. You’re creating a downward spiral by doing a juice cleanse.”
  • Try and find a scientific research paper that promotes juice as a detox or cleanse. There isn't one.
  • Research published by the British Medical Association found that nurses, who ate whole fruit, especially blueberries, grapes and apples, were less likely to get type 2 diabetes, while those who drank fruit juice were at increased risk. Those who swapped fruit juice for whole fruits three times a week cut their risk by 7 per cent.
  • Naveed Sattar, professor of Metabolic Medicine, and Dr. Jason Gill, both of the Institute of Cardiovascular and Medical Sciences at the University of Glasgow in Scotland, call for the UK government to change the current "five a day" guideline to exclude a portion of fruit juice from the list of fruits and vegetable servings that count toward it.
 I could go on.......Just remember, everything in moderation, except gin - the difference between poison and medicine is the dose.

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

An open letter to my little sister

I'm not sure if you will read this or if you will even care....

We have all been 17. I know that is something you probably hear all the time. I doubt it has any meaning as it's so frequent, but it is true.

We all know what is like to lose our first love. The heartache and the feeling that you'll never be able to be happy aain. Believe me you will be a million times happier and a million times sadder in the future. Try to focus on the happy bit though. It has taken me until now to realise that I shouldn't settle for what is in front of me. If I don't find what's right it doesn't matter as Ihave books, art, music and friends to fill what some may see as a void.

We all know what it is like to not know what to do with our life. I only figured that out recently and I am 31. I still haven't finished my education and we both know that big sis is back in college now and she is well old, like 34. That's proper old.

Families are hard work. They really are. They always will be. My parents are hard work, your parents are hard work. Tthey will say the same thing about all three of us sisters. We are hard work. You won't always see eye to eye with your parents or your sisters but it will get easier. Not all the time, but it will. Big sis and I have been in some horrible fights. There were times when I was your age that we didn't speak for weeks on end. Now she is the one person I couldn't be without.

Friends come and go, but not all of them. One minute you may feel like you have 100 best friends and the next minute you will feel alone in the world. The ones that really matter will still be there throughout the years. I have a select group of friends now. I wouldn't trade them for the world. We don't live in each others pockets like we used to, we are older, maybe even wiser. But hey, give us a free bar and a pool table to dance on and we will show you how to have the most amazing time of your life.

Your health is not just your body but your mind. This one I know. Don't let the negative thoughts overwhelm you. It can be dangerous. You may feel lost and alone. You may feel no one understands you. I probably do better than anyone. I have been to very dark places, you may well know, or maybe you don't. Once I realised I could get help it changed a lot.

The world is there for the taking. Why not take it. You don't have to stay in this dingy little town. Save your money and see the world. Don't be in a hurry to settle down. Full time jobs, boyfriends, cars, houses, they are not important.

Little sister I am not going to tell you that you have made the wrong or right decisions, it's not my place. I will not tell you what you should or shouldn't do. Do what makes you happy not what makes others happy but do it for the right reasons also. I know you have your morals.

Don't forget that I will always be your big sis. I love you. If and when you need me I am here.