Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Water, water, every where, Nor any drop to drink.

Its raining, it really is raining, it may seem like it will never stop
raining, and we are in drought. I understand why people would be annoyed by a hosepipe ban when the water is constantly falling from the sky. But, I don't really want to talk about the weather so don't strike up the
conversation with me.

It's April and there will be showers, that's why they are so named. After
a dry two years, with below-average rainfall for 80% of the time a lot of the country is in drought.

I'm never quite sure why a hosepipe ban causes so much uproar. I don't own a hosepipe and I don't see a need for one in the future. They make pretty
lousy presents for any occasion and just get in the way in the shed. Yes I have a shed. In fact I have 2 sheds. I have never been in either of them.

To find out more of the facts go here:

And for some music to soothe your soul whilst you are reading may I suggest:

Don't go near the water! - Beach Boys
Smoke on the Water - Deep Purple
Blame It On The Rain - Milli Vanilli
Waterloo - Abba
Waterfalls – TLC
The Rain (Supa Dupa Fly) – Missy Elliot
Bridge Over Troubled Water- Simon & Garfunkel
In the Water I am Beautiful- City & Colour
Down By The Water- PJ Harvey
Purple Rain - Prince

Sunday, April 22, 2012

I am a bender

This just happened to me:

The cute little stone from Lydiard Park
  • Bored can't sleep
  • Checked all social networks including LinkedIn the most boring of the social networks
  • Open safari
  • Hhhmmm what to search on google
  • Google images maybe
  • Type in your name to see if there are any new photos
  • There are huzzah
  • Not great quality: sulk
  • Get text from you and remember you are real

Super double huzzah.

I have become a girl that swoons and smiles and gets all eeeeeeeeeee! 

I'm so lucky

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

I'm probably not listening and I doubt I will remember

There are three types of insomnia; transient, acute and chronic.
I suffer from acute. Not all the time but when I do its horrible. Any lack of sleep is horrible but a prolonged period can really make you feel like punching chirpy people right in their happy little, well rested faces. The wankers.
I am not talking poor quality sleep or subjective insomnia, we all suffer from this from time to time.Getting in the car to drive home at the end of the day is a joy, not because work is over but because its nearly bed time. Yawn
But bedtime is not really that great. It is usually when my fun mind decides to discuss all of the super things that should really be more repressed by my subconscious (or dealt with like an adult). And then when I do finally get to sleep there is the annoying disturbances that wake me. Idiot things that cannot be solved at 5am and if they were thought of during the day would not bother me will wake me up. And then I cannot get back to sleep. That is until my alarm goes off. Then I am the sleepiest person ever.
My lack of sleep makes me forget everything. I have to rely on endless reminders on my phone to make it successfully through a day. Another consequence of sleep deprivation is lack of attention. Now I already have the attention of a small child due to my ADHD but when you team this with no sleep and the lack of enthusiasm caused by depression you will probably find I am not listening to you. I don't mean to not listen to you lovely folk. Some people I do try really hard to listen to and now I remember just a little too much and seem like a stalker. But most people I will walk away from without a clue what I may or may not have agreed to do.
Don't take offence if I forget the things you tell me or ask me to do. Just send me reminders. And if you are talking to me and I am looking more vacant than normal ask me where I am as it's probably not in the same room as you.
Nap time

Monday, April 16, 2012

More Reasons to #BookHavoc

reasons 11-20 of: why @ThisIs_Progress should book @JimmyHavoc #BookHavoc

#11 he will buy Jaffa cakes for the whole audience. Not own brand ones, mcvities. (n.b. jimmy is not pleased with #11)
You know Jaffa Cakes right? Well in case you didn't...

#12 the artwork by @Deano_peppers makes booking havoc worth it alone

#13 girls will cry if he isn't booked. And no one likes a girl crying. I mean how do you deal with that? And what if they don't stop for ages?

#14 that light-tubes thing is pretty cool

#15 he promised not to forget any of our birthdays and send us cards if booked

#16 the guy likes the sight of his own blood. Lets give him the opportunity to see it without cutting himself in a dark room whilst listening to my chemical romance and weeping so bad that his guy-liner runs all down his face.

#17 there will be counselling sessions run by havoc himself for anyone who is emotionally scarred by the violence that ensues. There will be a chaise lounge available, it's been promised.

#18 if havoc isn't booked I shall have to continue with my #datehavoc campaign which isn't going that well. Seems that the ladies are a little scared of a ‘Suicidal, Suicidal, SUICIDAL’ wrestler

#19 Ahhh come on!!!

#20 please!! He'll be your best mate!

Reasons 1-10
Reasons 21-30

To find out what I am talking about if you don't know check out:
All on twitter
Or Deano peppers here:

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Love is.. Conceptually irrational

Try to explain to me what love is, romantic love, without using google or wikipedia tell me how you view love.

Love is a complex creature, emotions that defy rational explanation. Is it real though, there are books, poems, songs and films about it??? But, in the Japanese language until the late nineteenth century there was no word for ‘love’.

To tell someone you love them is a scary moment: what if they don't say it back? What if they do say it back? What if it's too much and they walk away and leave you?

When i last told someone I loved them it scared the crap out of me. The wait for a response seemed to be hours long. I didn't even know what response I wanted. I guess anything but "fuck off".

Sometimes we just need to be more open about our feelings. Telling people when they have hurt us so we don't bottle up feelings of resentment that ultimately ruin friendships. And more importantly telling people we love them or they make us happy or just the sight of a text popping up on your phone makes you feel all funny in the belly.

We should also believe more in fate and destiny. But not confuse the two. It may be fate for you to meet someone and it may be fate for you to fall in love but you may not be destined to be together forever. Just live life how it comes and savour them perfect little moments.

I leave you with this: in French there is a word Retrouvailles which means the happiness of meeting again after a long time.
For those in long distance relationships or who are apart for long periods of time I salute you. This word is for you, it's a poetic way of describing that small bit of relationship bliss.
 Dear readers, I treasure each and every one of you! Xx

Friday, April 13, 2012


I fucking love you Becky Joyce, Mrs Callard. The one and only Boyce!

Edited 15 April to add an insight into what this is about:

Boyce is an founding member of aids Monkeys. She is the most beautiful friend anyone can have in the world, inside and out. Oh and her husband Mr Greggles is ok too.

We don't see each other nearly enough. I blame Boyce entirely for this she is a busy lady. I am the least busy person in the land. At any point if you ring me I am probably sat in my underwear watching shit tv.

I posted this little ode to Boyce originally as a little poke to get her to read my blog. Now it's just here as a note to Boyce and in fact all my super friends to let them know I love them.
Including Ma (although I made up the hate thing).

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Reasons to #BookHavoc

10 reasons Progress Wrestling, @ThisIs_Progress, should book @JimmyHavoc #BookHavoc


#1 he bakes after match muffins for all wrestlers that are 100% gluten free

#2 he will give free manicures to those whose nails he inadvertently breaks whilst kicking crap out of them

#3 someone called Sean South says havoc will kill himself for our entertainment #deathmatch

#4 there will be more talking and tweeting in the third person

#5 I shall make it my mission in life to convince someone to get the little twitter icon pic of havoc tattooed on them. I have a victim in mind

#6 we can find out if he sounds like Bobcat Goldthwait when he played Zed in Police Academy (I think he does)

#7 I can imagine he is thoroughly entertaining

#8 Umm muffins, manicures, the next logical step is something about puffins. He will sponsor a puffin sanctuary (do these exist?)

#9 He is gonna turn up anyway we might as well give him some money for it, maybe as bribery to keep him under some kind of control

#10 He will owe us all big time for all this effort put into the #BookHavoc campaign

To find out what I am talking about if you don't know check out:
All on twitter

Reasons 11-20
Reasons 21-30
Even Rikochet wants you to #BookHavoc

Monday, April 9, 2012

je ne regrette rien

If you say you have lived a life without regrets you are a liar.
You know you should have
We all have regrets. We have all made the wrong choices and lived with the outcome. We all have that one person or opportunity that got away.
The things is to make a conscious decision to let them go. Not dwell on them and to live in a more positive way.
Until recently I had been dwelling on regrets from the past. Not saying how I really felt when I had been hurt and not telling that person that I loved them to name but a few (although I would class a few as 3, a couple is 2, a couple of few is 6). There is no way I can change these things. I can't go back and blurt it all out and I certainly won't say it now. The moment has passed it's has no place as a worry anymore.
As part of my 'self-counselling' I am learning to let go of these things in the past. To focus on the positives of the past. I have also decided to not be afraid of saying how I feel and trying to create them opportunities I have always dreamt of.
It's working out, i am making decisions based on my own personal happiness and the happiness of the kid. Financial or even geographical complications are not a focus of mine anymore and neither is the fear of being rejected.
If it all goes to shit whilst I am trying I get the things I want then so be it. At least I am trying. It's not easy to do the things I want to do, but if I do make it it will all be worth while.
I know that this is all a bit cryptic right now but all will become clear hopefully sooner rather than later.
Oh and a little quote for you that made me smile this evening;

"Actual self awareness is the knowledge that you’re playing a character in someone else’s dream"

Sunday, April 8, 2012

N00bs at conventions

Yes I am going to talk tattoos again. Fuck off now if you don't wanna hear/read it.

The awesome dude @iamkennethcom and I were tweeting the other night and he said "it's funny how in my work I'm considered heavily tattooed but at a convention I'm a total n00b".

I get told i have a load of tattoos and asked if I have any space left. I don't have loads and I do have space left. I look down at my right arm which has had a fair amount of work done and feel frustrated that it's not finished. There is a load of blank skin there and loads of blank space in my bank account where the money needs to be to pay for the work.

I tried to work out the other day how much I have spent. I think it must be at the £700 mark. This isn't a lot in the grand scheme of things. If you are getting cheap tattoos they are probably not good tattoos. (Unless you have found an awesome friend in one of your tattooerists.)

It's a want in me to get more tattoos now. It's not addictive like people say. I can't stand the pain. But I have so much unfinished space. It's not having got to the conclusion that makes me carry on.

Tattoos have (in a round about way) taken me places in the last 4 months that I didn't think I could get to. I have met the most awesome person I could ever find in my life. I am totally captivated, charmed and utterly happy to be in their life.
The columnist I discovered turned out to be super awesome regardless o the Vans. He gave me an opportunity that I have wanted for ever and ever.
And the photographer lady I worked with recently has given me the confidence to go for another one of my dreams. Soon we will be getting all dirty working on it and I can't wait.

Discovering tattoos, the confidence they gave me and the new outlook I have since really understanding real art is the best thing I have ever done.

For photography details contact Emma:
Twitter: @MOJOphotomakeup

Contact me: @DougalMcT

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Samantha Brick. Such a liar

Samantha Brick is an utter retard that has come into the public conscience this week. If you have never read her articles they can be found in the Daily Mail. The one that has caused her to become an over-night hate figure is Why women hate me cos I'm beautiful

Samantha Brick claims that women hate her because she is beautiful. I am a woman I can can state that I categorically have never hated another woman based on her looks. I am more likely to stare like an utter pervert at a beautiful woman. Brick also is not a beautiful woman. She is average looking. You wouldn't look twice at her if she walked past you in the street. I think she has confused genuinely nice people with people wanting to fuck her.

I also think from reading her writings that can be found on the mail website that women dislike her (not hate) because she is an idiot. She talks about how her husband picks her clothes and how she left her high flying life to become a housewife. Well she clearly isn't she works for the Daily Mail. And she thinks her husband leaving her if she puts on weight is the correct way to live.

She has very little clue how to be a modern woman, she seems stuck in a old fashioned way of living. I am not judging her choice to live like this but her view that is the correct way to live is ridiculous. I would love to be able to meet her and see if this inflated ego is just a front to try and get some media attention.