To have self-esteem is a good thing. It's not conceited or narcissistic to think highly of yourself as long as you acknowledge your virtues and your faults. The opposite of self-esteem is self-rejection, a characteristic of depression.
If you read Mourning and Melancholia by Sigmund Freud you will find the depressive has suffered 'an extraordinary diminution in his self-regard, an impoverishment of his ego on a grand scale....He has lost his self-respect. I can't imagine you will read this so I will paraphrase: it explains how depression, anxiety, sleeplessness and the whole shebang come together to create low self-esteem.
I was talking to a lovely friend about it this evening. I feel I live in a perpetual state of: Meet someone, Fall in love, Get dumped, Cry, Repeat as necesssary. This isn't entirely true, I have done a lot of dumping myself but I am insecure that at any moment I am about to get binned off. Not just by #blueeyes but by friends too.
Don't feel sorry for me. It is just another part of my illness that I shall deal with. Just take it in to account that when you get a "i don't mind" or a sarcastic comment as a reply that there might be more of a reason than just me being awkward.