Thursday, July 10, 2014

Feeling like soggy bread

If I have learnt anything from the past two and a half years of writing here it's that life is too short to not say the things that are important to you.

I think they have all been said now. While I am quite cut up about the boy stomping quite considerably on me, I have come to terms with it. Ok, not quite cut up, abso-chuffing-lutely gutted.  I've said my piece, got my feels and motions out. I did the crying, I asked him to reconsider and I hoped for the best. I love him and my heart is broken, it will be for a while.

I've tried to have a different outlook on things this week. It has been an adjustment not talking to him everyday. I've missed that a lot. However, I have not just been laying face down on the sofa crying and dribbling in to the cushions.

I know I was doing fine on my own, hanging out with the kid, playing in the fields with the puppies. He added to that, he was my happiness on the end of the phone or my place to escape to. I just don't think all I had to offer was enough for him to feel the same. It is not my place to change his mind on these things. I will, in time, support his decision.

I've become a pro at break ups now. They happen all the time. If you want some advice on being dumped our how to be a pro at cutting people out do ask. One bit of advice to those that are the dumpee and not the dumper; you can only lose what you cling to. Don't prolong the pain by trying to cling to someone who doesn't want you. 

While I know I will feel like soggy bread for a while, and I know he made daily life better, I also feel at peace to know I can go back to where I was before. And where I was before is perfectly acceptable.

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