I challenged a business lady to rewrite a post called 10 Struggles Of Being Not Fat, But Not Skinny Either. There were 7 Awesome Points available. Well, she flipped it and challenged me to do it.
After reading the post it seemed to me that me that Samantha Matt, the author, was just a bit whiny. She is one of those new breed of journalists that writes lists of things eg. 17 things to make you happy, 13 things to stop feeling ashamed of, 60,000 ways to feel more womanly, 9 lists of lists with numbers.
Let's digest her 10 struggles.
1. Analyzing the “You look so thin!” comment on a picture.
If you need to analyse (see how I spelt it there with a S not a Z, silly murica) a comment on a picture you may have some deep-seated issues that require medical assistance. No seriously. A picture is just a moment in time. It is just what you happened to look like in that very second. The variables of light, angles, distance and photography skills created a constant memory. That is not how you look. If someone comments that you look thin say thanks, if you are thankful. If you are not then thankful don't comment.
2. Eating with people you’re not close with.
This isn't a struggle. So you are eating with work chaps or acquaintances, eat what you like. To be constantly fretting about what others are eating or what they may think of your choices of food is no way to live your life. Just don't spill it down your front as everyone will think you're an idiot and social outcast. They will cut you out of conversations until you choose to leave early so they can all have fun in their clean clothes. Silly spiller.
3. Choosing an outfit to wear out on a weekend night.
I am going to list my problems with this particular struggle.
i. Looking good doesn't mean tight fitting clothes
ii. Every person: male, woman, fat, thin and all things in-between, will struggle with an outfit for going out-out
iii. Questioning an outfit doesn't mean you feel, you look, or are, fat. It means wearing a wedding dress on a first date is probably a bad idea.
iv. This. All of this. God it's awful "The only thing that can change this is when a guy says “I would fuck you in that. ” A guy wouldn’t openly say that he would fuck a fat girl. So it must mean you don’t look fat. Right?" Why, why, why Samantha?? Why do you hate women so much? Why is fat so offensive to you? Why do you care that a man wants to fuck you? That's not a compliment.
4. Buying jeans.
The problem with buying jeans is in no way telling people what size you are. It is about the bleakness of a day spent in various changing rooms trying to keep that bloody curtain that doesn't quite fit closed. Looking in all them mirrors of various angles and noticing your hair looks a bit shit from 45 degrees to the left. It's about them lights that make you notice you are not all that great at applying foundation. It's about going in shops, which I hate. Size is really irrelevant these days. I'll prove it. In Miss Selfridge I am size 8, in H&M I am size 14. Wear what fits you and feels good, not what has the correct number on a label.
5. Wondering what guys refer to you as.
I will put this simply - Who gives a fuck? Seriously.
6. Taking your cover up off at the beach.
I don't think this is the worse thing ever. There are worse things. What about famine, war, or noticing you are out of loo roll after a poo.
You are at the beach. Everyone is in swim wear. No one is looking at you as they are thinking about their own insecurities or better still having a lovely time.
7. Deciding whether or not to eat free food at work.
There is really no reason to live your life in fear of whether or not to have cake at work. The simple answer to this is: if there is free cake, biscuits or sweets on offer, have some. Don't sit at the designated cake desk and eat it all. But just have some. If you really are concerned why not suggest a healthy buffet day. Everyone likes a healthy buffet. Or a better suggestion is, get on with your work and stop wasting your time fretting over cookies.
8. Losing and gaining weight.
If you are worried about putting on 2 pounds have a poo. If you are worried about losing weight have some of that cake you were offered at work.
9. Trying to figure out what guy(s) are actually interested in you at the bar.
I am going to put this out there. Maybe, just maybe people are talking to you just because some people are just nice. It's a shock I know, but some people are. Maybe they don't want to sleep with you are your mates. Maybe they just fancied a chat. But, if they do want to sleep with you are your mates that is fine too. I maintain my view on this, you really shouldn't sleep with people you have just met at a bar. If you live by that rule you'll probably just have a nice chat instead of worrying if they will see your cellulite later that evening.
10. Explaining to people that you’re staying in because you… just wanna lose 3 pounds.
You are staying in because you want to lose weight? Now that is just ridiculous. Why not just exercise some self control. You really don't need to drink non-stop red bull vodkas and eat late night pizza. If you really don't think you are adult enough to control yourself then be the designated driver. Then you have no choice.
So there it is. Not really a rewrite, but a reply. Sometimes these list things are really not good for the soul.