Monday, October 29, 2012
for the sake of happiness
When should you give up what you believe for the sake of happiness?
I have taken a lot of them personality test things during my career, Belbin, MBTI, SDI.
Things that have said about me are:
A dynamic team-member
loves a challenge and thrives on pressure.
possesses the drive and courage required to overcome obstacles.
Seeks patterns in group work;
pushes group toward agreement and decisions
Prone to provocation
Offends people's feelings
Let's just sum it up. I think I am right and I am going to argue the toss about it.
But, should I give up on some things. Should I say sorry for something, regardless of how I feel about it, to maintain happiness?
Ordinarily this would not be a question I would have to answer. I just don't tend to care. But this time I really do. I have been in a dark scary place for the past two days. I am struggling to function again. I want to be in bed far away from the world and iphones and twitter. My panic attacks have been so bad that my tablets are not touching them and I have barely slept. I was up at 4.30 this morning trying to contain my tears.
I have been hurt by the lack of trust in me and feel I have been tarred by the brush of the behaviours of others. It would be easy for me to plead forgiveness but for what? For being who I am?