Thursday, December 29, 2011

An open letter to my neighbour

Neighbour I know we have before exchanged notes and I feel we must again.
Last time the note from you suggested I keep my noise down in the mornings. My advice of you getting a job so you will be up at the same time as me seems to have been ignored.

This time I would like to draw attention to your constant rutting with your on again off again boyfriend who I can only guess is called jamal.

I understand that your rutting is the natural expression of love between a man and a woman. But really does it have to be at all hours of the day and night?
If the answer is yes I have some ideas for you.
1. Move the bed away from the wall.
2. Get a new bed with non squeaky springs. Maybe memory foam.
3. Stop faking it. You get nothing out of it in the long run. Try positive reinforcement.

In conclusion neighbour: shut the fuck up

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