Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Dating at 32

I've had some friends in relationships say they love their dating life through me. I'm probably the worst example to choose. 

I'm my foray in the dating world I have found just two types of men. 
1. The man who likes you
2. The man that doesn't like you but would still have sex with you, especially if said man has had a couple of beers

Now, this is not a feminist attack on men. This is just my interpretation.  

Both types have quite distinctive flaws.

I have heard it said that men fall in love after 3 dates and women after 14. I think there is an air of truth about this. The man that likes you wants to tell you and they want to tell you as quick as humanly possible. They want to be in your life, know your life and fill your time. 

That's cool, if that's what you want. But if it's so soon after meeting you feel smothered.  Sometimes I want to sit in my Star Wars pyjamas and watch 17 episodes of Community whilst eating peanuts and not have a ton of guilt about not texting back immediately.

The man that doesn't like you will exhibit the exact same behaviours on a date as the man that does like you. He may even display the same pattern of communication. However, if you have sex with this man any time from date 1-3 you will not hear from him again. If you don't have sex with him you won't hear from him again after date 3.

 At least not in the short term. 

This man may reappear though. That surprise message just saying 'hey' out of nowhere. You have been warned. 

Sometimes, just sometimes, you meet someone you laugh with, have amazing sex with and will contact you again.
You meet someone, that likes you. Someone that doesn't want to invade your space. That doesn't feel the have to save you. That lets you be yourself even if you do make up awful power ballads about the broken heating in your car.

That is rare though. 

I wouldn't live vicariously through me unless you really enjoy hoping. 


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