Thursday, September 18, 2014

Blue eyes and happy place

Have you ever spent any time with a stand up comedian?

They are one person in the real world, but the minute they walk in to a comedy club they change. They put up front that is pretty much impenetrable.

This was blue eyes. He was two people. The one I knew and the one he portrayed to his public and fans.

The one I knew was all of the things I was looking for. So I admit it, since I he left me I have been hung up on him. Looking to replace the relationship.

When I found happy place I saw he same qualities in him, the person I wanted to make a future with, the public front, the mental state and the baggage. It really was a bad idea to get involved. But I did. And we all know how that turned out.

The more I look back on both situations the more similarities I see.

I get the same feeling in the pit of my stomach when I see either name. But after reflection it's the not the same feeling. It's not the same bitter annoyance of 'what if?' It's a sad feeling that these men that said they loved me  either lied or didn't love me enough for me to be worth it. 

A wise man once said "two crazies don't make a right". That wise man couldn't be more right. 

That advice has finally made a marked difference in my outlook when it comes to all matters of the heart. 

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