On first meeting me a boy once asked "are you always this socially awkward?".
The answer is yes. I am socially awkward. It comes from a lifetime of not quite fitting in. Or at least feeling that way. My awkwardness manifests itself in different ways and at different times.
So, there are two types of people I don't get, girls, and boys. I have felt both misogyny and misandry in my life. I have been a feminist and nonchalant to the whole thing but recently I have settled on equality as my choice of stance.
Being friends with girls has always been a struggle for me. Girls are weird things. They come with emotions, tears and massive amounts of bitchiness. This has changed a lot for me recently since I learnt who I can and can't trust. Who will be there for me when I am having my dark times and who will fuck off in to the sunset never to be seen or heard of again.
I have found it so easy to feel comfortable with a new bunch of girls in my life. Alice, Emily, Kate, Kelleh, Milenne, Rachel and Sarah thanks for accepting me and being so nice. I think because I am so much more comfortable with myself and our shared experiences on suicide girls I can open up to them.
Then there's the 5 girls who I would do anything for. Rachel, Sam, Hollie, rhea, Hayley. I cannot wait for us to have the best time ever in Brighton. I promise to keep my clothes on. Well, most of the time anyway.
If these girls rang me at 3 in the morning cos they wanted a redbull I would be there. I am so happy with what has become of our friendships. We have had many rough times along the way. But look at us now. The coolest kids on the planet.
So I guess it turns out that my fear of girls has been unjust.
Girls are bloody awesome.
And my girls are the bestest on the planet.