Friday, March 9, 2012

I know I said I would not do these things

Last time I wrote (and published) I said I wasn't getting and tattoos for a while. I meant it at the time but then Sam Ricketts posted on Facebook that he had spaces. He is such an awesome artist I couldn't resist so I got a little more work on my sleeve.

I got a key with a geometric flower. There is really no significance to this. I told Sam I wanted a key and this is what he drew. I bloody love it. Although I have discovered that the inner arm is not a fun place to get tattooed and my arm is probably twice the size it was before. I swell a lot.

Running out of space on this arm now which is awesome. Who would have thought little old me would get a sleeve. Not me, not until I started learning about real tattoo art. I started reading magazines such as Skin Deep and Total Tattoo a few years back. They changed my outlook on tattoos and art as a whole. Before I was one of them people who thought tattoos were picked off a wall and were generally black and spikey. I am informed on the subject. I don't know all there is to know but I know where to go for answers and it genuinely pleases me that people ask me for advice.

I've done something else. Something significant for me. I met a beautiful blue eyed boy. I met him through tattoos and a shared interest of calling people benders to their face. This is all you need to know.

My depression is getting the better of me again but I am not giving in. I have been back to work and seen the super people that I missed whilst I was away. Q10 and lili are two people that I need in my life, now more than ever. Q10 bought me Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Dummies. I have been reading it when my brain is not being all fluffy and unresponsive. Its making be realise that I need to give myself credit for coping. Maybe we should all give ourself more credit for the small things we achieve in life rather than ignoring them.

My beautiful little friend asked me to explain how I feel. There is no easy way to explain it. I don't feel like me. I can think of only 4 occasions since the start of December when I have felt like the me I was before. Safe and secure in myself and not banging my head against a wall trying to force myself to be better. Its hard for others to understand that I am suffering, for want of a better word, as depression has not changed my personality (I don't think) and I don't like to sit down and tell people face to face that I just feel bloody unpleasant.

So in conclusion. Go get tattooed at Wood Street Tattoos in Swindon. Tell them I sent you cos they are great.
And I am no good at being in like cos my insecurities get the better of me.

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